sarcasm Archives

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FAMILY

You Can’t Scare Me I Have A Crazy Grandma She Has Anger Issues

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FAMILY

I Get My Attitude From My Freakin’ Awesome Mom She’s A Bit Crazy

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LIFESTYLE

Please Don’t Be A Bitch Because Then I’ll Have To Be A Bitch Back

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FUNNY

Even The Devil On My Shoulder Sometimes Whispers Wtf Are You Up To Now

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LIFESTYLE

I’m Not A Smartass I Am A Skilled Trained Professional In Pointing Out The Obvious

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LIFESTYLE

Rules When I First Wake Up 1 Everyone Shut The Hell Up 2 Get Out Of My Way

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LIFESTYLE

Don’t Ever Piss Off A Short Girl They’re Like Cute Adorable Tiny Ninjas Of Death

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MOVIES

Lick Rust

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TV SHOWS

Lick Rust

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LIFESTYLE

Yes I Am A Member Of The Csi Team Can’t Stand Idiot Heifer Version

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LIFESTYLE

Everyone’s A Dumb Whore

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ANIMALS

By The Power Vested In Me I Now Pronounce You Stupid & Ignorant Bunny Version

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FUNNY

I’ve Lost My Ability To Give A Damn If Found No Need To Return It

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ANIMALS

Don’t Piss Me Off I’ll Stop Taking My Pills And Nobody Wants That Do They Penguin Version

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LIFESTYLE

Weak Sauce

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LIFESTYLE

J’suis Trop Geniale Ca Devient Chiant

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LIFESTYLE

I Have The Right To Remain Silent I Just Don’t Have The Ability Grumpy Unicorn Version

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ANIMALS

I’m Not Really A Mama Bear I’m More Of A Mama Llama

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JOBS

I Work At Arby’s I Use Excessive Sarcasm At Work

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JOBS

Dog Groomer Sorry My Nice Button Is Out Of Order But My Bite Me Button Works

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JOBS

Bus Driver Sorry My Nice Button Is Out Of Order But My Bite Me Button Works

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JOBS

Postal Worker Sorry My Nice Button Is Out Of Order But My Bite Me Button Works

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LIFESTYLE

I Will Not Water Myself Down Just Because You Can’t Handle Me At 200 Proof

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LIFESTYLE

Essential Employee (White Text)

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ANIMALS

Heifercraft The Art Of Pissing People Off By Telling Them The Truth

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LIFESTYLE

They Say You Can’t Fix Stupid Turns Out You Can’t Quarantine It Either

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JOBS

Nobody Is A Better Electrician Than Me All The Other Electricians Are A Total Disaster

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LIFESTYLE

I Never Wish Death Upon Anyone Who Wrongs Me I Wish For Sudden Explosive Diarrhea

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LIFESTYLE

I Was Raised Not To Throw The First Punch But To Throw The Last One And Make It Hurt

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LIFESTYLE

Sometimes I Look At You And Wonder Why Has No One Hit You With A Shovel Yet

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LIFESTYLE

I Have The Right To Remain Silent I Just Don’t Have The Ability Heifer Version

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LIFESTYLE

One Day I’m Gonna Just Say Fuck It All And Let My Demons Out To Play

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HOBBY

I Might Look Like I’m Listening To You But In My Head I’m Fishing

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LIFESTYLE

Don’t Piss Off Old People The Older We Get The Less Life In Prison Is A Deterrent

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LIFESTYLE

Bitch Please I’m So Fucking Fabulous I Pee Glitter Shit Cupcakes & Fart Rainbows

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LIFESTYLE

Don’t Tell Me To Calm Down I Will Throw A Fucking Chair At Your Face

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