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LIFESTYLE

By far the most common craving of pregnant women is not to be pregnant

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JOBS

I’m a civil engineer I can fix stupid but it’s gonna hurt

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JOBS

I’m an operator I don’t stop when I’m tired I stop when I’m done

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JOBS

I became a caregiver because your life is worth my time

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LIFESTYLE

I am a Broncos girl I was born in December with my heart on my sleeve a fire in my soul and a mouth I can’t control

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FUNNY

I’m a Grumpy Old Man My level of sarcasm depends on you Stupidity Version2

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LIFESTYLE

April Ladies The sweetest Most beautiful Loving Amazing Evil Psychotic Creatures you will ever meet

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LIFESTYLE

All aboard the Hot Mess Express

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LIFESTYLE

I am a Cowboys Girl I was born in April with My heart on my sleeve A fire in my soul and A mouth I can’t control

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LIFESTYLE

I get my Attitude from my Freaking Awesome Mom

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LIFESTYLE

MomMy you are as brilliant as Hermione as wise as McGonagall as cunning as Ginyu as loving as Mrs. Weasley you are my favorite Witch

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LIFESTYLE

In your darkest hour When the demons come call on me Brother and we will fight them together – Victory Or Valhalla Version2

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LIFESTYLE

Assuming I was like most Grandpas was your first mistake – Tai Chi Grandpa

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LIFESTYLE

They’re our rights and We’re keeping them

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LIFESTYLE

Treat me like a Queen and I’ll Treat you like a King Treat me like a Game I’ll show you how it’s Played

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JOBS

I get my Attitude from my Awesome Bartender I am related to I call her Mom

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JOBS

I’m more than just scrubs needles & gloves I am also compassion Patience & Love This Girl loves being a CNA

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LIFESTYLE

Autism is not a disability It’s a Different Ability

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LIFESTYLE

Mess with me I’ll fight back Mess with my children and They’ll never find your body

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JOBS

I’m a lady with the Vocabulary of a well educated Farmer

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JOBS

Tattoo artist we do precision guess work based on unreliable data provided by those of questionable knowledge

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FUNNY

Keep calm or I will use my opera voice

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LIFESTYLE

Together Forever Skeleton man

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LIFESTYLE

Without Drums Life would Bb

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LIFESTYLE

Camping Everything will kill you so choose something fun

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LIFESTYLE

Yes I do have a retirement plan I plan on Camping

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JOBS

I am postal worker of course I’m crazy do you think a sane person would do this job

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LIFESTYLE

Unicorns because people suck

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LIFESTYLE

Due to the influence of Pregnancy Hormones I could either Burst into tears Kill you in the next 5 minutes

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FUNNY

Unicorn Kiss my ass Dare to be different

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JOBS

I am caregiver of course I’m crazy do you think a sane person would do this job

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LIFESTYLE

I have done things that haunt me in my sleep to make you sleep safe at night Have done these things I am and always will be a U.S Veteran

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LIFESTYLE

Legend are born is April Steven Seagal eddie murphy me

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LIFESTYLE

There is Discipline in a Veteran youcan see it when she walks There is Honor in a Veteran you hear it when she talks There is Courage in a Veteran you can see it in her eyes There is Loyalty in a Veteran that she will not compromise There is something in a Veteran that makes her stand apart There is Strength in a Veteran that beats in her heart

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JOBS

Warning unmedicated installer annoy at your own risk

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FUNNY

There’s no need to repeat yourself I ignored you just fine the first time Version2

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